I’ll Stop the World And Melt With You

“You’ve seen the difference, and it’s getting better– all the time….”

(I love the Nouvelle Vague cover of this Modern English song!)

Ugh, ya’ll!  The holiday season is imminently approaching, and I’m not ready.  Stop it, ya’ll, stop the holidays, stop the season change, stop it all, right now–  I’m not ready!  I expected to be totally able to deal with it come November first, and what’s worse– every year I have the same unrealistic expectations.  That I’ll be somehow, mysteriously “caught up.”

What IS caught up?  When was the last time you felt it?  I can’t say I know anymore…  I *always* feel behind.  Always.  My husband says this is utter silliness– who is to determine what is the *correct* scheduling for me, my proper usage of my time, other than myself?  *Myself* is precisely the problem.  Stupid myself!  *I’m* the one that wants to have it all done, I’m the one that feels like I’ve failed when I don’t manage to do it all….  And yet I repeatedly heap all of these expectations on myself, like I’ve never learned a damn thing.

“What is it I’m currently trying to do?” I ask myself.  Can I take some crap off of my own list?  Hmmm… we’ll see.

*Well, right now we are dealing with a massive, mutant flea invasion.  (The invasion is massive, the fleas appear to be mutants.)  They have totally blindsided us this year.  We felt we’d totally done a great job of keeping buggies at bay (especially with five animals in and out of the house), and then here, after the heat is gone– BAM!  They are eating us alive.  The dog has been moved temporarily to my mother’s farm, and the mostly-outside cat is being maintained full-time by our kind neighbor across the street.  All animals have been dosed with BOTH comfortis and the new extra-better frontline, after repeated shampooings.  The house has been vacuumed more closely and elaborately than any other time since that move-in clean a year ago (and that’s allright, it likely needed it) and dusted with borax.  My husband has been faithfully doing bizarre hoo-joo hippie treatments involving votive candles and dishes of soapy water in the worst rooms of the house in an act of desperation.

I am tired of them.  I am tired of the feeling of borax coating my feet.  I am tired of not having area rugs and bath mats down in a cold house.  I am tired of the darkness from closed doors on all the bedrooms, trying to keep animals away from specific areas.  I am tired of bathing cats and having the fark scratched out of my nice, round, lady places– through wet tee-shirt, military-style supportive undergarment, and everything.  I am tired of wrestling clean sheets– two of them bunks!– onto three mattresses every other day.  I am tired of vacuuming the couch before I sit down.   I am tired of the laundry.  Moreover, I am tired of itching.  I am tired of seeing my baby itch.  To put it bluntly– I am ready for those tiny assholes to die.

***I’m trying to get ahead of the upcoming Pintester Movement submission.  This will be the fourth one I’ve participated in, and I’m always sooo down on the bottom of the list.  I want to get this one done *now* so that I can send it to her ASAP, garnering me a spot at the top of the list.  Of course I have chosen an ornament that takes 4,287 steps– of course!  I’m still in the middle of the process on that one.  But I am tying so hard!

***Two weeks ago, I announced that I wanted to do a big week-long sewing push here on the blog, just in the hopes of sewing something everyday and cutting a big chunk out of my stitchy pile.  It got abandoned after a sad little day of work, and now that basket feels *aggressive* when I look at it.  It’s bullying me, ya’ll.  I *have* to work on it soon!

***I have to do my usual housecleaning thing, as that is my job, and it still has to get done.  Amazing how cleaning out the fridge and scrubbing the toilets has nothing to do with all of the flea-related work I’ve been doing.  Dammit.

***Take down Halloween, get out Thanksgiving, start on Christmas.  I don’t want to cut the decorating, as this is one of the parts that is fun for me… I have a really nice little vintage turkey collection that I usually like to find and display during the month of November, but of course the bin of the things de Thanksgiving are alluding me at this time.

***Spend as much time as possible with my sick, elderly cat.  Despite recent treatments, my 16 year old cat’s health seems to be waning (and in the process, paining me to great lengths), and it breaks my heart to think that I didn’t give him adequate love in his last few weeks because I was “too busy.”  Rationally, I know that is time I will never have back.  It’s important to me… and myself.

***Plan and have a big party.  I mean, ideally I’d love to have monthly dinner gatherings where we invite all those dear people that we just don’t see enough of, but that has yet to happen.  In my mind, the other real alternative is to host one big, massive potluck at least once a year.  When it works at its best, there is TONS of gorgeous food to be devoured, and our social circles overlap beautifully.  At its worst, my house gets spotless and I spend some time with people I like– win-win as far as I’m concerned.  I just need to pick a weekend and DO IT.  After the fleas are gone, of course.  And maybe when I’m not so tired.

***Begin holiday shopping/gift crafting.  Hoo lawdy, I don’t even know where to begin with that one, but I assure myself it is very important, because it isn’t really negotiable.  I’ve got like, five things already, and that’s a drop in the bucket.

***Re-open both online shops.  I really wanted to get them open in September, I just may wait until after the New Year’s at this rate.  Part of the problem is that my store’s stock is still emerging from the boxlandia that is our garage, and I’ve yet to really delineate a place where *just it* will go.  There is also the camera thing, covered below.  I’m just ready to get some of this stuff outta here, and the extra cash would be the bomb for the holidays.  Believe me, myself knows this, but I’m also thinking it’s one of the more ‘expendable’ options, in that it is SO MUCH work, and work that is more successful when backed with enthusiasm.  It’s like the internet knows when you’ve hit the jaded zone, and starts giving you reasons to feel that way.  I’d like to be in the mental spot to actually enjoy being a shopowner again, and I’m not there… today.  I doubt I will be next week, either.

***Finish My Children’s Book.  This is one of those things that really only a few people knew about, but is very, very important to me.  It is SO CLOSE to done, I have done the bulk of the work, I just need to take the final pictures.  I wanted to be finished by my birthday, which is a month away.  Well guess what?  My camera is dying…  I can use it to get a few blog pics for here, or a Halloween costume pic there– that’s if I put the camera together just right and hold it with the perfect amount of tension.  Unfortunately, this is a no-go when it comes to my book, I need to be able to set the camera down on a platform I’ve built to keep the shots from pretty much the same perspective.  Le sigh.  I’m really hoping that I get gifted one for my birthday….  Or at least Christmas.  Please?

***Perform some holiday funs with Fox.  Schools don’t really make a big deal out of the holidays anymore, or so it seems.  I hate that his year bumps by pretty much same-ol’, same-old.  I really feel like it’s important to do a few seasonal things a month with him, whatever that means at the time, just for the sake of having bonding time with my kid and making the holidays special.  Memories and all that.  Right now is great for raking fall leaves and baking fall foodies, making ornaments, and handprint turkeys.

***Finish My Son’s Room.  It feels really close to me, even though there is considerable work to still do.  I go in there now, and it has made the massive leap to ((sound of trumpets)) a little boy’s room.  As opposed to what it was, which was this funky, crammed place where he slept and kept his stuff.  It’s amazing how the bunk beds have changed his space.  Now he plays in there easily, he knows where everything is, he has adequate room, and he feels inspired by the colors.  The walls need a second coat of mid-grey paint as well as a few painted orange accents; one final coat on the painted furniture; as well as a few sewing projects with the linens, windows, and some sort of closet cover if I do that.  It’s a lot, but I could certainly have it done by Christmas.  Maybe by the potluck– depending on when that is, and how much I focus the sewing basket projects on it.

***Get my little spot skin cancer on my arm removed, and get myself allergy tested.  Granted, these are not things that take like, weeks at a time, but they are things that I have promised loved ones I would deal with, and they do each take at least a day.  As if  me promising (and it actually being kinda important), we have *completely* maxed out our copay this year, so now’s the time.  No excuses on this one, myself.

***Blog.  You’re thinking, “Isn’t what you’re doing now?”  Well, um, yeah, but let me just embarrassingly admit that this is my first post in more than a week, and it has literally taken me sitting down EIGHT TIMES to get it completed.  Distractions range from kiddo needing someone to check his homework to sweet Ozzie kitty having a seizure next to me and immediately stopping to rush him to the vet.  Everything worth stopping for, but it still lengthens the process considerably for me.  I really am hoping to step up my output the following year, and so far I haven’t really done that.

Making A Leaf Pile

Making A Leaf Pile




Nov 08, 2013 | Category: Just A Thought | Comments: none | Tags: , ,


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